His mother took to
staring at him with sorrowful eyes. 'You
should get married, Hari,' she would bleat.
God. God. God,
Hari repeated at night as though he were calling, but for what and
to whom he did not know, nor did he expect anyone or anything to
answer. It was as though the black emptiness inside him and outside
him were calling of its own accord to somehow, impossibly, be
filled.
And thus the days
and nights passed, it seemed endlessly. Bleating, cropping,
following; following, cropping, bleating; and the unspeakable
emptiness that called out blindly: God. God. God.
Then one bright
moonlit night Hari heard a snapping of twigs in the forest that
bordered on the meadow. He turned his head toward the sound, and
after a while he saw a form separate itself from the dark shadows
and stand full in the moonlight. It had a massive head and slender
body, and its eyes, looking at Hari, were two moons. Hari stared,
for he had never seen a creature so beautiful, so serene, so
self-assured. It stood as though it needed nothing whatsoever other
than itself, and yet as though it possessed the entire earth. A
quick flicker of thought, touched Hari's mind: 'Then there
is something more.... something beyond what I know ...' It
was like hope. But at the same time he thought: 'It must be
a lion, the King of the Beasts.' And no sooner had he
thought that than he remembered a lion was a thing for sheep to
fear. And he was afraid. He rose to his feet, preparing to run, but
at the same moment the lion disappeared back into the forest,
leaving behind such emptiness that Hari gave a cry of pain. He felt
an irrational longing to be eaten by the lion. 'Better to be
eaten far, far better to be eaten by such a creature than to see him
no longer. What a fool to have been afraid!'
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