|I also found
that rather than breaking through into a higher perception such artists generally remained
trapped in hedonism or got caught in drugs, neurosis, or suicide. They hadnt found a
way out either, though perhaps they could look over the walls that confine us. My own poetry became more imagistic, reflecting a symbolist base
like that of Rilke or Rimbaud. Images of the dawn and the night, the sun, wind and fire
arose in mind like primordial forces, with vague images of ancient Gods. These poems also
had eastern affinities that I was gradually discovering.
They were images of an internal landscape that itself was a doorway into the
universe of consciousness and the cosmic powers. Many of these images I would later find
in the poetry of Sri Aurobindo and in the Rig Veda. In my poetic writings I could
sense a feminine archetype or muse guiding and inspiring me. An inherent sense of the
Goddess existed inside of me, which took shape in my poems. She was the Divine power
hidden in the beauty of nature, which reflected a secret power of consciousness and life.
This would later connect me with the Goddess traditions of India.
About the same time I began to study eastern texts
from Lao Tzu to the Upanishads, which were readily available at the time. I discovered the
Hare Krishna, TM and other eastern groups that were visible in this large western city
where I lived. While a more European ethos dominated my mind the eastern view was not far
behind and getting closer.