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me to a discovery of the Renaissance and its art and philosophy, which I examined in some
depth. But it seemed that the Renaissance went the wrong way. It started off as a mystical
awakening with Marsilio Ficino and a translation of hermetic works, but soon got caught in
realism and materialism. The West had moved away from the rigidity of the church but only
to the other extreme of materialism, not to a real discovery of the Spirit that could
reconcile both true religion and true science. Out of curiosity from my Catholic
background, I looked into Thomas Aquinas and Catholic philosophy as well. It seemed rather
dry and dogmatic and had little mysticism in it.
teachings of mystical Christianity through the teachings of Meister Eckhart made more
sense and I moved on to these. For a while I tried to get back into Christianity outside
of the pale of the church, perhaps out of some personal nostalgia. But it quickly became clear to me that the mystical Christian
tradition consisted of incomplete teachings or isolated individuals, a tradition that had
been crushed before it could flower. The law of karma
and the process of rebirth that I had learned about through eastern philosophy made more
sense to me than such Christian teachings.
After reading a number of different scriptures and
spiritual texts from all over the world, the Christian fixation on Jesus seemed almost
neurotic. It was clear to me that there have been many great sages throughout history and
Jesus, however great, was only one of many and that his teachings were not the best
preserved either. I failed to see what was so unique about him or what his teachings
had that could not be found with more clarity elsewhere. The mystic feeling I once had in
Christianity was now entirely transferred to the East.